I Met My Goal, Just Not the Way I Expected To!
About a decade ago, my ex and I bought 46 acres and custom designed and built a big, beautiful home. We both wanted our “forever” home and we wanted a place of respite, for us and for others. I fully bought in. I was side-by-side with him in making this decision. Yes, it was a lot of money, but we made a lot of money.
I loved our land and our home for a long time. I guess I still love it, but a few years ago, it started to feel like a burden. I had quit my corporate job, so less money was coming in. I got tired of cleaning the big house and mowing the yard (and without my income, getting help didn’t seem like an option). On top of that, the 45 minute commute to church/friends/the Y started to wear on me.
My ex did not—and still does not—share that feeling of burden. In our partnership, he was the spender and I was the saver. It didn’t bother him that we had a huge mortgage hanging over our heads. I tend toward more of a scarcity mindset. I’ve moderated that significantly over the years, but I still experience extravagance with some discomfort. He believes that he has been given much and that he should appreciate much. Neither of us is wrong.
We had many conversations about my desire to be free of the burden. We talked about moving. We talked about generating more income. We talked about building a retreat center on the property. In the end though, my desire to simplify was in direct conflict with his dreams for the house and the land. So I decided that we would stay put and that I would set a goal to pay off the mortgage. If that happened, I figured I would be a lot more at ease.
I am a firm believer that when you set a goal, you set the wheels in motion in the universe. The more specific the goal, the better. I took a copy of one of our mortgage statements and replaced all the “due” numbers with zeros and wrote “paid in full” across the page. I put it on the fridge so we would see it each day. I allowed myself to feel the freedom I would feel when I no longer had a mortgage. I revisited my goal each day for several months.
Fast forward to now. On Friday, my goal was realized. My ex assumed the mortgage, removing my name from any ownership—and any financial responsibility.
Here’s the thing: I didn’t specify how the goal would be met. Never in a million years would I have imagined this being the path. But I still recognize it for the gift that it is and I am thankful. And that freedom I imagined when I was focusing on my goal...yes, I now feel it!