When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough...Stay Put!
I’m not sure that I’ve clearly stated it publicly, but my actions certainly reflect that 2018 is dedicated to healing. I have been intentional about scheduling lots of time with friends. I have repeatedly assessed opportunities that wouldn’t foster my healing and turned them down. It is not the time for me to get caught up in striving. It is my time to grieve, to rest, to play, to transform, to be.
In March I began an intensive training program to become a Coach. The program was top notch. I felt exhilarated as I took it all in and practiced my new skills with clients. I know that I have finally found a true calling in this profession. The program was in full alignment with my intentions. It was training, not hustling. And interestingly, because I had a coach during the 4 month program, it offered me additional healing too.
After I graduated, I learned of an opportunity to enroll in a brand new class designed around how to start a coaching business. I immediately enrolled. Because it’s the inaugural class, the price was right and it sounded like the natural next step.
This is where it gets sticky. Honing my skills as a coach is one thing. Taking a class that gives me very clear steps to build a business...well that does not feel like “grieve/rest/play/transform/be.” It dances dangerously close to striving. The content is excellent. The assignments are spot on. The other students are inspiring. I feel the siren call to jump in and prove myself. I am afraid if I don’t “follow the rules” I will find myself destitute next year. I am afraid everyone who knows me will judge me. I am afraid of being lazy. I am afraid of failing.
But, I promised myself that I would be patient. I promised myself that I would take the time to heal. I promised myself that I would not fall back into old beliefs about money, titles, and success.
I talked about this with a coach yesterday. She helped me to see that this year I AM working. It’s simply work of a different sort. The work I’m doing is building a solid personal foundation beneath my feet. Eventually I will want to build a thriving coaching business, not because I am afraid of failing, but because I am completely grounded in myself and I want to help others have that too.
So for now, I will finish my business class. I will engage and take notes. I will take some baby steps, but mostly, I’ll store the knowledge away. I will keep my promise to myself. I trust the journey. I will stay put.