I Hope You Dance!
For the past few years, I’ve decided to pick a theme for the year. I’ll write more about it at another time, but for now, I will simply say that my word for 2018 is “play.” It amazes me how setting an intention brings about opportunities.
One of the ways I love to play is to dance. This will come as a surprise to anyone who knew me for the first 30 years of my life. I was so incredibly shy in that particular area. I even remember sitting and crying at a party when I was about 13 because I was so intimidated by even the prospect of dancing. I held such harsh judgment toward my body and I didn’t want to do anything that made my physical body any more visible.
Healing has come slowly, but it has gradually come. And most days now I can set aside the body hate from my past. I work really hard to have a healthy body and I appreciate how strong and healthy it is. I have been on several hiking vacations, I can keep up in most any workout class, I can touch my toes, I can prevent myself from falling when I trip. I can wear cute clothes. I am rarely sick. This body supports me. I don’t need to hide it anymore.
And so the past few years, I have begun to enjoy dancing. I started to dip my toe in the waters when I was out of the country at a resort. No chance anyone from my daily life would see me (well, except my ex, but he was totally game). I’m not all that talented and I don’t know any formal dance moves. But when I start moving, I laugh. Sometimes other people laugh, but I now see it as laughing with me versus laughing at me.
Back to setting an intention, the more I embrace it, the more opportunities I get to dance. This weekend 2 of my very dear friends came into town. We made our way downtown to Alan Jackson’s bar. I know the drummer and we wanted to watch him play. It wasn’t long before I couldn’t resist the urge to dance. My girlfriends weren’t interested, but eventually, my fervor was contagious. And so we danced. And danced. And danced. We danced until after 2 a.m. And it’s one of the best nights I’ve had all year. I dare say it was for them too.
A mere 24 hours later I received another invitation to dance. The 5 Spot features Motown Monday every Monday night. It doesn’t even start til 10 p.m. I really needed to catch up on my sleep, but another friend reminded me that memories are made when you say yes. So yet again, I found myself out late, on a dance floor, meeting people, and overall embracing my intention to play.
Today (Tuesday) I am a little tired again. But I’m also happy. I have new memories to add to my treasure trove. I asked God to help me learn to play. And God responded. I was given the chance to sit it out or dance. I chose to dance.