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  • Sarah Joy

Ugh! Sometimes I Still Sweat the Small Stuff


It’s so important to me that I show up “real” here. I don’t want to sugarcoat anything, but I also want to be respectful when I write about anyone other than myself. So it’s with extraordinary care that I will share about my current angst.

A week and a half ago, I started getting messages from Verizon warning me that I was running out of data. I still had a week left in my billing cycle so I started monitoring it pretty closely. I looked into buying more but chose not to when I realized that I would still have access once my “gigs” were up. My speed would just be slower. I used to live out in the country with satellite internet. I can handle slower data.

The complicating factor is that my ex is still on my cell phone plan. I get a discount and it’s so much more economical to have 1 plan with 2 lines vs 2 separate plans. He pays me back for a small proportion of the bill since I’m the heavy user. This arrangement has been fine. Until last week.

Apparently my ex was getting the warning messages too. After a couple of days I received an email from him requesting that I keep an eye on data and to be more careful. He included a chart of the past several months revealing that I use more data than him. Of course I do. We knew that when we split the bill. Now I know my ex. I know he was intending only to be incredibly clear, but I must confess, it really riled me.

Then a few days later I received another alert from Verizon. Apparently a brand new, $1,000 phone has been activated on my account. It will be billed to me every month for the next 2 years. I have no problem with my ex getting a new phone. It’s none of my business and I’m sure he needed a new one. But, that was nearly a week ago, and I haven’t heard boo from him. Does he think I won’t notice and I’ll just pay for his new phone? Has he just forgotten to mention it? Again, I must assume the most positive spin.

The final kicker is that in the spring I told him I’d like to consider changing to another carrier. He asked if I would wait a few months for life to normalize. I thought that sounded reasonable so I agreed. Now, we’re locked in for another 2 years. Or at least he is. I’m thinking maybe it’s time to unbundle our plan.

I’m doing my absolute best not to sweat this, and yet it’s rolling around in my head for the 7th day now. My intention is NOT to sound like a complainer or a tattle tale. What I want is to think clearly. I want to get unstuck from this swirl. I want to be transparent about being petty. I think sometimes we all are, and if I share openly, maybe someone will be able to relate.

I want to kick myself into action mode. I have options. I can reach out to my ex. I can research the options for splitting out our plans. Hell, I can even decide it’s not worth it and just pay for the blasted phone.

No, not that.

It’s been several hours. I decided to chase down medical bills instead. Yes, I chose THAT instead. I guess I still have some healing work to do.

Namaste.

#ProjectRestoreJoy #Healing #Divorce #SometimesISweatTheSmallStuff #ImStillHuman #ShowingUpReal #VulnerabilityIsMySuperPower

#Divorce #Healing #ProjectRestoreJoy #Vulnerability

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