Life Handed Me a Bushel of Lemons
My ex reached out last week and asked if we could meet. We haven’t been talking much so I anticipated that something was wrong. I was right. The nutshell version is that my financial situation just took a huge hit. I want to say so much more, but if I do, I will be out of integrity. So I’ll simply say that I am angry.
We met on Friday. Today is Tuesday. I’m facing a slew of questions.
Should I go back to a full-time corporate job? I absolutely LOVED the travel element of my work. I enjoyed leading people. I liked knowing I was doing good work. The security of health insurance, a retirement plan, and a big salary are appealing. Yes, I walked away, but I am a much different person today and I think I could dive back in and succeed in a different way.
Should I get really scrappy about building my business, Project Restore Joy? I am a nutrition coach. I am a reiki healer. I am a yoga teacher. I love working 1:1 with clients and being part of their a-ha moments. It is deeply honoring when I am invited into another person’s struggle. I get gigged when a client moves past a limiting belief. I am ecstatic when clients achieve their goals! BUT, this route requires that I drum up my own business. I have to put a sales hat on. It’s less secure, less dependable. This is the route I was choosing, but I thought I had 24 months to figure it out. (By the way, if you know someone who feels stuck in their health/career/relationships, I would love to have a complimentary 30 min phone call. Please send them my way!!).
Should I go all in on eBay? I’m fairly active there right now. I have 650+ items for sale. I probably net $1,000 a month. It feeds my desire to be a good steward. I save stuff from the landfill. I can buy an item for a buck and sell it for $25. Not a bad return. Could I really ramp it up to making closer to $4k a month? I’m in an apartment. It’s a big apartment, but space is still limited. And while I am totally stoked about selling, I think I need the human connection of working with others. My eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/sustainabilityrebel
And finally, should I find a part-time job? This one appeals to me. I recently did some work with a coach of my own and realized that my top values are connection, independence and freedom. If I work part-time, I won’t get rich, but I can pay the bills and still maintain these values. I can do good work for a company that doesn’t want a full-time employee, I can dip my toe back into the professional world, I can maintain some of the flexibility that I’ve come to treasure, and I can pay my bills. Ideally, I’d love to find a role requiring 20-25 hours/week. I’d love to travel. I’d love to coach employees within the company I work for. (Another “by the way”...if you have ideas, please reach out to me!)
I still don’t have a firm answer to the question about what’s next. I do know that answer is coming though. The miracle is that I can see so much growth. Had my ex approached me 2 years ago, I’d still be in full on freak out mode. I AM NOT. I am okay. I am better than okay. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that something is coming my way. I know too that the answer isn’t drudgery or punishment. I know that there is something beyond amazing for me. This is a miracle. And it’s a miracle that I am angry but not seething with resentment. It’s taken a ton of work to get here. My gratitude is indescribable! The effort is paying off.